Marriage isn’t just about the butterflies and honeymoon phase—it’s about building something real, something lasting, something that can withstand the storms and still feel like home. And let’s be honest, after years together, with the demands of work, kids, and the everyday grind, that initial spark can start to flicker.

But here’s the truth: love grows. It’s not just about passion; it’s about choosing each other—again and again, through every season of life.

Rick and I have been through it all. From navigating careers to becoming parents, from my open-heart surgery (where he was my absolute rock) to countless changes that could’ve pulled us apart instead of bringing us closer. And through it all, I’ve learned that keeping the fire alive in your marriage isn’t about grand gestures or picture-perfect moments. It’s about the small, intentional choices that keep the connection strong. So if you’re looking to reignite the fire in your marriage, here are a few things that have worked for us.

1. Remember Why You Fell in Love 💘

In the middle of everyday chaos, it’s easy to forget the why behind your love story. But sometimes, taking a step back and reminiscing about the early days—the inside jokes, the butterflies, the way they looked at you when they thought you weren’t watching—can reignite that spark.

Rick and I have changed so much since we first met, but at the core, we’re still the same two people who chose each other. And honestly? I’m grateful for how our love has evolved. It’s deeper, richer, and even more meaningful than when it started.

So take a night to stroll down memory lane. Look through old photos, revisit your first date spot, or just sit together and talk about the good times. Those memories are fuel for your fire.

2. Love is a Choice—So Keep Choosing Each Other 💞

Fairy tales don’t tell you that love isn’t just a feeling—it’s a choice. Every single day, you choose to show up, to listen, to be patient, to appreciate, to let things go. And sometimes? That choice feels easy. Other times, it takes everything in you.

As we’ve grown together, I’ve realized that choosing your battles is part of the secret sauce. Do I really need to get annoyed that he left his socks right next to the laundry basket instead of inside it? (Okay, maybe a little. 😂) But at the end of the day, those little things don’t define us. What does is the fact that through all of life’s ups and downs, he still chooses me—and I still choose him.

3. Date Each Other—Even When Life Gets Crazy 🎡

When you’re juggling work, kids, and a million responsibilities, date nights can start feeling like a luxury. But listen to me: prioritize them.

It doesn’t have to be extravagant—just intentional. A drive together with your favorite playlist, sneaking in a late-night dessert after the kids are asleep, even just cuddling up for a movie instead of scrolling your phones. (Guilty as charged. 🙈)

The point is to make time for each other outside of the routine. Because when you keep dating your spouse, you keep falling in love with them.

4. Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Together 🌍

One of the easiest ways to bring excitement back into your relationship? Do something new together! It could be as simple as trying a cooking class, taking a weekend getaway, or—if you’re like Rick and me—supporting each other in big, scary life changes.

When I went through open-heart surgery, Rick was there for me in a way that deepened our bond forever. When we became parents to Jude, we learned a whole new side of each other—one that required patience, teamwork, and grace. And through every big transition, we grew together, not apart.

Pushing yourselves outside your comfort zones as a team strengthens your bond in ways you can’t even imagine.

5. Speak Their Love Language—Even When It’s Not Yours 💬

If you don’t know your partner’s love language yet, stop what you’re doing and find out. Seriously. Because we all give and receive love differently, and sometimes, the way you think you’re showing love isn’t the way your spouse feels it.

For example, Rick is incredible with acts of service—he’ll take care of things I didn’t even ask for because he knows it’ll make my life easier. Me? I love words of affirmation. (Tell me I’m doing great, and I’m good to go. 😆) So over time, we’ve learned to be intentional about loving each other in ways that truly resonate.

Pay attention to how your partner receives love and start speaking their language. That shift alone can transform your connection.

6. Gratitude Over Grudges 🙌

This one? It’s everything.

When you’re with someone for years, you start seeing all of their flaws. And if you’re not careful, resentment can creep in. But instead of keeping score or focusing on the things that frustrate you, flip the script:

Be grateful.

Be grateful they still choose you. Be grateful for the moments of laughter, the inside jokes, the silent support, the ways they show up even when you don’t ask.

Because at the end of the day, love isn’t perfect—it’s real. And real love is worth fighting for.

Final Thoughts: Keep the Fire Burning 🔥

Marriage isn’t about staying in love—it’s about growing in love. It’s about embracing change, deepening your bond, and choosing each other through every high and low. And if the fire has dimmed a little? That’s okay.

You can always rekindle it.

So go remind your partner why you fell in love. Make time for each other. Keep laughing, keep learning, keep choosing love. Because the best kind of love? The kind that lasts. 💛

What’s your favorite way to keep the spark alive in your relationship? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to hear!

How to Reignite the Fire in Your Marriage 🔥