You Might Be Done With My Emotions But I’m NOT!
Have you ever felt like you used up your free vouchers on being upset? Often times, in relationships, we find it hard to be vulnerable and honest when we are struggling. We all want to hold it all together and look fabulous along the way.
But, they is just not realistic. And, when we do, we can sometimes feel like we scare people away.
The truth is we all go through hard moments, seasons or struggles. But, what do you do when your friend, partner or family member seems to be done with your “problems” before you are?
We acknowledge the fact that we are free to feel our emotions.
We have over 60,000 thoughts in 1,440 minutes every day. It is more than likely that some of those thoughts might not be the “pretty emotions” that those around us are comfortable with.
Who cares? Let them be uncomfortable. You probably are! Give yourself permission to feel. If you need a nap at two o’clock in the afternoon, take it!
As long as you are not maliciously hurting anyone with your feelings, you should feel safe to feel them … in their entirety.
Release the need to impress everyone else.
Sometimes we spend so much time trying to get someone else to validate, approve of or be comfortable with our feelings that we forget that we can just take some time alone to take care of us.
No relationship can last when we burn ourselves out trying to be someone we aren’t. Let ALL your colors show. Who cares what people think!
Find ways to self soothe.
When you are going through a hard time, whether it is a death, break up, spell of loneliness or sense of worthiness, it is heavy! Think of some ways to self soothe instead of trying to get someone around you to cheer you up.
A couple of things that work for me is taking a nap, reading a blog post to help me heal (how funny, must be your thing too! Lol!), watch a few comedies, take a walk, get some ice cream, call my mom.
Release any expectations.
Typically we get disappointment by someone’s direct or indirect judgement of our emotions. I have been told:
“You have a lot of feelings”
“You are such an intense Scorpio”
“You are just too sensitive”
“I know this seems really real for you”
“I don’t know how to care about what you are going through”
The list goes on and on. And, let’s be honest, that freaking hurt … A LOT. But, if I don’t expect them to help/comfort me than phrases like that won’t shock me as much. Besides, once I get over the initial pain + shock, I remind myself that I don’t need them to validate me. I can do that all on my own.
Forget those mean comments about your feelings. You deserve to feel. Our feelings are beautiful indicators of what is really doing on underneath. The Holidays can be an especially hard time for some of us who have lost the ones we loved or miss the ones we can’t afford to visit.
Here are some affirmations to help you feel validated and safe:
“I am safe to express my feelings in a healthy way”
“I am not my feelings. I am not crazy. I am just having a hard moment”
“This hurts and I am okay”
“I forgive their inability to accept my feelings. I feel compassion for them and acknowledge myself for the courage it takes for me to be honest and vulnerable”
– This one is my personal favorite because usually people try to control or squash what they are unable to do themselves. For example, a fearful person might want you to not do something that they fear. Their inability to feel safe in a situation can quickly be passed on if we do not clearly define the lines and boundaries for where their thinking stops and ours starts.
“I am not alone. I can make choices right now to make myself feel better. What can I do?”
– You have all the power and answers you need inside you. Take the time to ask yourself or your higher power for guidance when you feel lost. Even if your feelings have gotten so big you feel like you need to hurt yourself … There is a hospital you can check into to get the help you need and deserve.
Find your path to peace.
Commit to making slight improvements every day in the way you process your emotions.
How can you acknowledge what is happening right now but not fall into the trap of self sabotage?
What can you do in this moment to feel a little better? Eat, write, nap, walk, laugh, lean on a friend, play with a furry friend…
Never give up on making your way to a fabulous life! I may have overcome depression through lots of work but I have hard days. They may not seem “fabulous” but they are. They are fabulous lessons teaching me more about myself.
What are your tears teaching you?
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Love you so much! Thank you for reading!
Ps – If you or someone you love is struggling with depression please don’t ignore it. Call a therapist, 911 or go to your nearest hospital. You matter and so does your life.