3 tips to surviving the holiday #likeaboss
Are you home for the Holidays? Or are you hunkering down to start new traditions?
Regardless of how you spend the week, it can be super hard for some people.
I think often times we have expectations around what the experience should be. How our family should – or often times shouldn’t – act. What we should or shouldn’t do.
It’s a lot of pressure. In-laws, judgmental comments, competition among siblings, drama … the list goes on and on.
In our heads, it is suppose to feel like Santa’s cottage but, in reality, it can often feel more like a scene from Real Housewives of Drama.
So WHAT on earth do you do to manage all these emotions? Here are my top 3 tips to handling the Holidays #likeaboss!
Tip 1: Become aware of what you are stepping into.
Who in your family is a little CRAZZZZYYY?
Who creates drama like it is their job?
Who is passive aggressive and judgmental?
If you become aware of what you are stepping into and who you are going to be interacting with, you can prepare yourself using coping skills …
Here are some recommended coping skills:
- Run an errand. Pick up some champagne, get more ice, or make that urgent run to the store for some coconut water. Whatever you need to say, find an excuse to excuse yourself
- Talk with someone you love and feel safe with. Now is not the time to be feeling on guard. We get overly stimulated by drama so you have to know when to step away when you are feeling overwhelmed. But refrain from venting about the other person until you are in a safe and private spot.
- Get lost in a project. Sometimes, when I don’t feel like engaging in conversation, I get lost in a recipe or project nearby. I am still close to everyone but it gives me the chance to take a breath and distract myself.
- Communicate. If someone is saying something that feels rude, judgement or unkind, see if you can challenge yourself to remain calm and get interested instead of getting angry. A few phrases to help keep the door to conversation open would be saying, “Can you tell me more about that?”, “What exactly do mean when you say that?”, “What I am hearing you say is _____, is that correct?”
- Keep calm and breathe deeply. Don’t let ’em steal your joy! Remember that people speak from the place they are currently at. Hurt people hurt people. So just remember, no matter how rude they are to you, they are probably harder on themselves. Challenge yourself to have compassion and be kind.
You might stepping into a circus where everything feels upside down but you can either fight and judge it or grab a bag of popcorn, enjoy the show, knowing that you will get back to “normal” soon enough.
Tip 2: Know your limits. When you get triggered with drama, it is super important to remain aware of how you are feeling inside. Are you feeling antsy, irritable or angry?
Those can be signs of hurt feelings deep down. It is super important BEFORE you react or lash out that you figure out the source.
That is what leads me to:
Tip 3: Create some space between yourself and whomever is upseting you. This is the perfect time to whip out that list of coping techniques. You don’t need to grit your teeth and suffer through it. Just smile and kindly (emphasis on kindly) excuse yourself.
The last thing I will mention is the sadness around the Holidays because of missing someone you love. Ugh, that is so hard!
Whether you didn’t want to put up with the above so you skipped the trip or you’ve lost someone you love dearly or are estranged from them and that breaks your heart. Wherever the pain originates, it is completely understandable.
But what do you do with it?
You feel it. You cry. You choose to open up and be vulnerable. To share your heart. The part you don’t usually show people. It is okay. I promise you won’t get lost and never come back.
Sometimes we are afraid that the pain will come and never go away. But it will. You’ve got this. You will be okay. I promise!
Love you so much! Thank you for reading!
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